Fall is my favorite time of year
As with excitment it makes me want to cheer
When the weather starts to get cold
Like a burning sun the leaves start to turn orange and gold
The leaves scream like a kid on a roller coaster as they fall to the ground
When you step on them they make a sound,
Crunch crunch they break with every step you take
Go in the house, get cozy, and take a break
Football fun with friends on Friday nights
Spending time with them is as fun as flying a kite
Halloween is such a fun time,
I have to find my Halloween costume in the meantime
Some people say I am too old to trick or treat,
But I like getting a lot of sweets
All in all Fall is fun
I am so happy it has begun
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2555209/Fall
Two aspects of your poem that I really enjoyed were that it was about fall and I also like that you said you were still going trick or treating even though many say you are too old because if I find someone to go with *hint hint* (lol im kidding) I love getting candy. Because it's delicious.
ReplyDeleteThe a suggestion for improvement is to take out As on the second line.
1)AABB
2)Happy and excited that fall has arrived.
3)Your interesting uses of diction were cozy and trick or treat. Those are fun words!
4)I liked the imagery of speding time with friends at a football game, because that one time, that was me!
5)Football fun with friends on Friday nights
line 9
6)no internal rhyme
7)Leaves scream - line 5
8)Crunch Crunch - line 7
Brenna Leasor
Great poem over all I love how each line rhymes making it much easier to read. Your use of imagery was excellent and I felt like I was actually there. There is not a lot to change on your poem but a simple suggestion is that you should consider some more commas to show pausing unless you want it to be that way. You might want to consider some more use of onomatopia because I can tell you are very good with it.
ReplyDelete1. The rhyme scheme of the poem was AA BB CC DD EE FF GG HH
2. The tone was very energetic and happy
3. Diction that was used and appealed to me was the sweets that caught my eye since I love sweets so much. roller coaster is also great because it might catch their eye and they might think why is that in there but they have to read it first. Your choice to put cozy in this poem was nice because I also think of being cozy after playing in the leaves.
4. The imagery portrayed was good I really imagined the Halloween costume as scary such as a vampire, but you may see it as a pumpkin and I love that it was made into an endless discussion.
5. Football, fun, friends, Friday were nice examples of alliteration used in line 9.
6. The internal rhyme was break and take in line 7
7. Personification was used in line 5 when it said leaves scream like a kid on a roller coaster. It is a similie as well but leaves don't actually scream.
8. Onomatopoeia sounded amazing in line 7 crunch crunch it was almost as if I was there.
Olivia Santee
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how the poem was kind of "kidified" and seemed like it was meant to speak out to our younger selves. I also liked how you happily admit that you enjoy some of these fall activities, while others may feel that they are too childish.
ReplyDeleteWhat needs improvement is probably more elaborate diction. Also, you could make the poem sound more appealing and to a broader audience.
1)AABB
2)"Childish in a good way, fun and delightful"
3)"Cozy, excitement, orange and gold"
4)"Like a burning sun the leaves start to turn orange and gold"
5)Football fun with friends on Friday nights (line 9)
6)I guess you could say "All in all Fall is fun" but a rhyme you may consider using would be "Go in the house, cozy and dozy, and take a break."
7)"The leaves scream like a kid on a roller coaster as they fall to the ground" (line 5)
8) "Crunch Crunch" (line 6)
Syihan Muhammad
1)this poem is about fal and how its her favorite season and it talk s about football and i like footbal so i enjoyed it alot.
ReplyDelete2)what do u do with your friends and family during football season?
3)what were you thinking when you wrote the first stanza?
4) what are our thoughts on fall?
5)like a burning sun
leaves scream like a kis on a roller coaster when they fall
fun as flying a kite
as with excitment it makes me want to cheer
6)leaves and when i think leaves it makes me think of orange, yellow, red, brown and a bunch of diffrent colors, i also think of football and the packers, and hot chocolate and fireplaces and warm sweaters and late night storys.
Tayler
1.The poem is about how she likes fall as her favorite time of year. It tells the reader many wonderful aspects about fall.
ReplyDelete2.One question I have for line 15 is what else makes fall fun besides spending time with your friends, the leaves, flying a kite, or Halloween?
3.One question I have about your first stanza is do you like the cold weather that happens to arrive in the fall because you did not particularly state it, and I was curious?
4.One question that I have about your entire poem is... Is there another season that you enjoy as much as fall or is it only the best for the reason you mentioned before?
A Like a burning sun
B Like a kid on a roller coaster
C Like getting a lot of sweets
D As with excitement
Fall- Orange, green, brown, yellow, red, leaves, cold weather, hot chocolate, swimming, relaxing at my house by the fire, and days spent with friends at school.
Halloween- ghosts, zombies, candy, pumpkins, decorations, scary scenery, orange, and any kind of costume.
Football- roughness, tackling, pain, fun, cheers, blue and white, victory, and lots of food.
Olivia Santee
okay.
ReplyDelete1. This poem is obviously abotu fall. Unless your some kind of genius and hid its true meaning. haha.
2. No question.
3. No question.
4. Guess what. No question! Hahahaha.
Simile: "starts to get cold
Like a burning sun"
Simile: "Leaves scream like a kid on a roller coaster"
Simile: "As fun as flying a kite"
For the symbolic stuffs..
"the leaves start to turn orange and gold" make me think of...leaves. and carving pumpkins.
"scream likea kid on a roller coaster as the fall tot he ground" makes me think of really excited falling leaves. haha.
"Football fun with friends on Friday nights" makes me think fo those Walmart commercials with the littel kid and they watch the football game...ha.
Yeah. I like this a whole bunncchhhhh.
Anna Smith.