Water is flowing down a river
Gurgling, rushing, roaring and gushing
Water makes all things grow
Crushing deserts grip like a rainstorm
The river rushes to the sea
The waves crash on black rocks
The giver of life like the sun
Birds dash from rock to rock
The rain falls from the sky
Growing season calls as the sun comes out
The cycle is complete
The drought is no more
I hear the spring gushing
I see the river rushing
I see endless grassy growing fields of green
This must be how the earth bleeds
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2554026/Water
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ReplyDeleteI could see this poem as an actual scene in my mind, like something you'd see on Discovery Channel. I also liked the happy ending(no more drought). I'd suggest using more imagery and using more descriptive words.
ReplyDelete1) I can't identify a consistent rhyme scheme..
2) calm, relaxed, light.
3) Gurgling, rushing, and roaring. I like that you used these words instead of boring ones like "flowing", "fast", and "rippling." These words make the river seem alive.
4) "The waves crash on black rocks." Second stanza, second line.
5) I don't see any examples of alliteration.
6) I don' see any internal rhymes.
7) "The river rushes to the sea." Second stanza, first line.
8) Gurgling, roaring. First stanza, second line.
Justice Redman says: Good job, Evan. :D
I really enjoyed the fact that you described the good uses of the water. Also, your descriptions are very good. One thing you may want to work on is the rhyme scheme because I don't really see one. Another thing is that i dont really understand the meaning so just clear it up a bit.
ReplyDelete1) There is no rhyme scheme.
2) The tone is showing the apreciation for the water during the drought.
3) Gurgling, Rushing, Roaring
4) A good use of imagery was to say that the birds "dasehed" from rock to rock.
5) It was used on the second line. "rushing and roaring"
6) There was no internal rhyme.
7) The water was described as gurgling therefore it is personified. THis was on the second line.
8) When the water is described as gurgling its also considered onomatopoeia. thsi was on the 2nd line.
Sara Berzingi
1 a water reviving a place froam a drought
ReplyDelete2 in line 13 what spring are you talking about?
3 stanza 2, whats the giver of life?
4 where does the poem take place? and in what time priod?
1. This poem is about the end of a drought
ReplyDelete2. Why is the desert in the same stanza as the water lines?
3. What does the 3rd stanza mean?
4. Why is it only about 1 season?
metaphors/similes: giver of life, earth bleeds
symbolic part: spring: fields, grass, river
Lukas ReVeal did the comment above
ReplyDeletesimilies and metaphores, crushing deserts grip like a rainstorm,
ReplyDeletesymbolic part,river. water, wet, life.
nick pirrong