The sparkling snow starts to melt away
Spring flowers grow vibrant and new
Skies are changing to blue from gray
The ground is covered like a blanket with morning dew
Summer comes in the blink of an eye
Like a ball of fire, the sun is shining bright
Fireworks dance in the sky on the Fourth of July
The day is longer than the night
Fall rushes in like a fast moving train
There is a rustling of leaves in the trees
All your free time goes down the drain
Children wait at the bus stop in the morning breeze
There is a chill in the air; it must be wintertime
Mailboxes are overflowing with holiday cards
Christmas lights glisten and the church bells chime
Snowmen stand like soldiers on guard
the two aspects that i really enjoyed, example: fire works dance in the sky on the fourth of july and that the day is longer than the night.
ReplyDeleteyou can switch the rhyme scheme a little bit more, and make the poem more fluently
rhyme scheme:
A
B
A
B
C
D
C
D
E
F
E
F
G
H
G
H
the poet is sad because the winter is near and it is gray and cold
The poets word use is good for example, morning dew,glisten,chill
The imagery for me was leaves blowing off of trees and the cold wind.
example of alliteration: snowmen stand.
internal rhyme: there is no internal rhyme. you should say in stanza 1 line 4 that the groundis covered like a new blanket with morning dew.
an example of personification is, the fall rushes in like a fast moving train.
the onomatopia use is good like chill and chime.
Ruan Venter
I really liked how I could see everything you were talking about. The part about the snow was pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteway you described all of the seasons coming was really sweet.
Maybe you could have put some punctuation in or something like that. I didn't really see internal rhyme, but it's cool.
1.)ABABCDCDEFEFGHGH
2.)The tone was pretty happy, you seem like you might've been pretty chill when you wrote this.
3)I liked how you said vibrant, beacause that was a nice use of vocabulary. The rustling leaves really made me think I heard some leaves rustling. Overflowing was a good way to describe all the cards and such.
4)The snkow melting part was pretty awesome, because I saw some snow using my imagination. The part about the sun being a ball of fire was nice because, that makes it sound hot, and the sun is hot.
5)In the first line, "sparkling snow starts" was a good use of aliiteration.
6) I saw some internal rhyme in line 7. That was a good way to incorporate that in there.
7)Fireworks dancing, was personification. That was pretty sweet. It was cool because it really does look like fireworks are dancing.
8) The chiming of the bells was a really nice way to put in onomatopoeia. It really made me think of winter.
Alijah "T-Dog" Martin
This poem is about seasons.
ReplyDeleteOne question i have is about im not sure?
One queston i have about the whole poem is why seasons?
snowmen stand like guards,The ground is covered like a blanket with morning dew,Like a ball of fire, the sun is shining bright,Fall rushes in like a fast moving train
I feel that the whole poem is a symbol of a tradion of life, basic-ness, and the american dream lifestyle which to me includes seasons, because who imagines a perfect nlife, where its storming and tornadoing all the time.?
^^ that was from ashley xD^^
ReplyDeleteThis poem is about the changes of the seasons and life. I have a question about line 4, stanza 1... Why did you use a simile instead of a metaphor? In stanza 3- Why did you choose THOSE things instead of other ones? (I know- that made no sense!) Why did you choose this theme for your poem?
ReplyDelete4 examples of similes/metaphors are "snowmen stand like guards," "The ground is covered like a blanket with morning dew," "Like a ball of fire, the sun is shining bright," "Fall rushes in like a fast moving train."
I think that the poem is a symbol for life and the changes it brings.
^^Beth^^ =^_^=
ReplyDelete