After a draining and dreary day,
All you want is for troubles to go away.
You're tired as a dog and won't take much more,
Don't want to stay for what's in store.
Goals seem so far away, all you do is delay
Forgetting focus and crumbling along the way.
Work is a wall, it's hard to get through,
But crash, it tumbles down, if you just stay true.
Like a bright and glistening morning,
You'll be up, not sleeping and snoring.
Forget cloudy skies, no thoughts of that kind,
And your attitude will change from rain to sunshine.
So don't give up, be strong as a bull,
Your future will smile, knowing it's full.
Be determined like fate, it's all you need,
As long as you keep trying, you will succeed.
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2554712/Kelly_Chen_6_period
I liked the general idea of the poem. It's very inspiring. I also like a lot of the word usage.
ReplyDeleteI suggest next time, you should add another stanza. Also, the beginning portrays imagery of a rainy day. It seems to remain in the end. Perhaps you should add in a more positive imagery in the end, such as sunshine.
1. Rhyme scheme: A, A, B, B, C, C, D, D, E, E, F, F
2. The tone was very motivating and inspiring.
3. dreary, crumbling, tumbles
4. "After a draining and dreary day,"
5. "Draining and dreary day"
6. "Goals are so far away, all you do is delay"
7. "Your future will smile"
8. "crash"
Willie Beeson
I really enjoyed the view of the long day and how to make it look up on itsself. I like the actuality of the poem and how accurate and common it is to see in people, and the need to reach your goals.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest adding more elaboration on comparisons, and more imagery.
1.) The rhyme scheme is AABB
2.) The poet's tone is encouraging and upbeat
3.) Three interesting uses of diction are "your future will smile, knowing it's full", crumbling, and "crash, it tumbles down"
4.) Work is a wall, it's hard to get through
5.) draining and dreary day (line one, stanza one)
6.) Goals are so so far away, all you do is delay (line one, stanza two)
7.) Your futre will smile, knowing its full (line two, stanza three)
8.) But crash, it tumbles down (line four, stanza two)
Morgan Graebe
1.) This poem is about not giving up even when you are tired and don't believe that you can continue on.
ReplyDelete2.) One question I have for a particular line of the poem is that in line 2 in the 1st stanza, when you say "All you want if for troubles to go away", is the if supposed to be an is?
3.) One question I have for a particular stanza of the poem is stanza three. How does it fit into the idea of the poem, to not give up, since it is about having agood atitude?
4.) One question I have for the entire poem is where did you get the inspiration to write about this certain subject? Why did you choose to write about what you did?
5.)The four examples of similes and/or metaphors are "you're tired as a dog", "work is a wall", "like a bright and glistening morning", and "be as strong as a bull."
6.) Cloudy Skies - sadness, crying, rain, tears.
The review above was done by Sarah Haslebacher
ReplyDelete1)This poem is about the hard ships of life.
ReplyDelete2)In line 7 does you world sometimes seem like this?
3)In stanza 3 did you have personal expiernces to what you wrote?
4)One equestion i have for this poem is what inspirations did u have to help you write this?
A)You're tired as a dog
B)Work is a wall
C)Like a bright and glistening morning
D)be strong as a bull
WORK
-hard
-nonforgiving
-strenuos
-benifit
-profit
-never ending
-money
-strenght
Mackenzie Lawrence
I like the general feel of it. It's very inspiring. I also like how the beginning makes it seem like the poem will be negative, but them turns out to be positive by the end.
ReplyDeleteI suggest making the poem longer next time. It seems like there is more to be said, but you left it out.
1)AA,BB
2)Tone is encouraging
3)Crumbling, dreary, tumbling
4)Work is a wall
5)Draining and dreary day (line one, stanza one)
6)Away, Delay (line one, stanza two)
7)Your future will smile (line two, stanza three)
8)crash, it tumbles down (line four, stanza two)
Molly Bragg
Extra Credit:
ReplyDeleteMack,
1)Work is like a wall and is sometimes hard to get through because of the sheer amount of studying/work or if I'm learning tough material. It seems impossible at first, but nothing is really impossible.
2)One personal experience when I had to foce myself to stop thinking like a pessimist was when I first moved to Morgantown. I didn't want to do anything, but after I stopped thinking about the negative my attitude changed.
3)My inspiration comes from my past experiences and what I've learned from them. I also get inspiration from people around me, or whenever I see someone working hard to get to a goal.
Kelly Chen
Extra Credit:
ReplyDeleteSarah,
1) Yes, that line is supposed to say is, not if. It was an accidental typo.
2)Stanza three elaborates and gives an example of how your attitude will change. The way I see it, having a good attitude is kind of the same as not giving up and having a bad attitude is the same as giving up. I think your attitude and your determination have to coexist to be successful.
3)My inspiration comes from my past experiences and what I've learned from them. I also get inspiration from people around me, or whenever I see someone working hard to get to a goal.
Kelly Chen