Speed
Bang! Runs the bullet out of the gun,
Coastin' in motion fast, I got to go.
I do it to win, but it's also fun,
Cross Country is the sport to take me home.
Slippery and soddy socks are squishin'
Wet and cold in my shoes.
Winning is my mission;
I can't lose.
I run like a cheetah,
As fast as the subway.
The cheetah who hungry for zebra,
Run fast like the sun into the next day.
Like the desert goes dry,
I'm thirsty to finish.
Crossing the finish i fly;
My goal i did accomplish
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2554756/Speed
I liked how you described yourself as running like a cheetah. I also liked your uses of similes.
ReplyDeleteI think you should use more words that rhyme. I also think you should continue using personifications and similes.
1) ABAC DEDE FGFG HIHI
2)they were determined and confident
3)finish and accomplish, cheetah and zebra, shoes and lose
4) crossing the finish line I fly
5)cross country; 1st stanza, 4th line
6)winning you could use winnin to rhyme with mission; 2nd stanza, 3rd line
I like your onomatopoeia. I like the imagery too. Your poem was well written.
ReplyDeleteI would like to see more written on these topics. I like how it flows.
1. A,B,A,C,
D,E,D,E,
F,G,F,G,
H,I,H,I,
2. ENTHUSIASTIC, AND IN A HURRY TO TALK
I liked you rhyme scheme. I liked your rhyme scheme. YOu did a good job.
ReplyDeleteI would like to see more metophores and similes.
1. a,b,a,b
c,d,c,d
e,f,e,f
g,h,g,h
2. poem tone was exciting
3. squishin', zebra, accomplish
4. like the desert goes dry
5. cross country 4th line
6. run and sun 12th line
7. runs the bullet out of the gun, 1st line
8. Bang! 1st line
My favorite lines: "thirsty to finish" and "coastin' in motion fast." I like the repetition of the long O sounds and the sense of effortlessness that comes from coasting.
ReplyDeleteDr. Benson
1. This poem is mainly about Cross Country. It's about doing the best you can in crossing the finish line and always striving to succeed in your goals.
ReplyDelete2. "Cross Country it the sport to take me home" What does this mean?
3. Stanza 3. Why did you choose to use animals and outdoors as your metaphors and similes?
4. Why did you choose to right your poem about Cross Country?
Similes/metaphors:
"I run like a cheetah,
As fast as the subway.
The cheetah who hungry for zebra,
Run fast like the sun into the next day."
Speed - run, car, cheetah, plane, jet, rocket, bullet, legs, fast.
(P.S. ilikegonna be a guy bananana mafia oonen day i was at the place and the sandwich was like woahhh meatball so i made macorni and then went to the other side of town i bought an octopus and turned it into apple cider with my magical tree that makes birds explode.)
I like your onomatopoeia. I like the imagery too. Your poem was well written.
ReplyDeleteI would like to see more written on these topics. I like how it flows.
1. A,B,A,C,
D,E,D,E,
F,G,F,G,
H,I,H,I,
2. ENTHUSIASTIC, and in a hurry to talk
3. squishin', zebra, accomplish
4. the desert goes dry
5. cross country
6. sun and run
7. runs the bullet out of the gun
8. bang
Garrett Wotring