Mirror, mirror on the wall,
You taunt me with your glass
That glitters
Like a puddle in the sun.
I see a monster encased inside.
like a frightened child I feel the need
To run
And hide.
"Slowy step back"
My mind will scream,
But my feet are concrete
And refuse to obey.
Like a critic I must trace
Every flaw that I see
Until the image is forever etched
Into my mind.
I raised my hand to touch it,
But felt only a smooth surface.
That monster looked back at me
With wondering eyes as if
They did not believe.
They lowered their hand
Like myself and their mouth fell agape.
That's when I realized:
That monster
Is me.
Very impressive Addie. Your poem was able to make me conjure up an image in my head. After reading this I'm left with a question. What were you writng this about? Was it a look at yourself? Or was it about someone different? The rhyme scheme was very confusing. I had to read it over again to find rhyming, and even then I was confused. You had a very deep tone. And that's one of the things I like about poets. The diction was very good. Especially in the fourth stanza. Alliteration was used in the fourth stanza in the third verse. Internal rhyme was used in stanza 3 line 3. Personification was used basically throughout the poem. Onomatopoeia was used fourth stanza third line. It was very good.
ReplyDeleteJacob witmer
-Two aspects of the poem I really enjoyed were, the angst of teenage-ism, and the personalness.
ReplyDelete-Two suggestions for improvement are, get some higher self-esteem! ( ♥) and thats it?.
-rhyme scheme:
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
E
H
I
J
K
L
and yeah, im not sure about otherness?
-Your tone, was self concious and and seriousness
-Monster, because even though its ment to be scary, it shows the image of how society want people to feel. Mirror, becuase i like mirrors(not for myself) and i like the word glitter, because it shows you SPARKALING personality.
- "I see a monster encased inside." is a nice use of imagry because it shows a monster! RAWR!
-Slowly Step is alliteration line 9.
-My feet are concrete is a internal rhyme line 11
-Personification= you taunt me with your glass, line 2.
-Onomatopoeia- Slam, line 15
Madam ashley
I loved your poem! It was very serious but it was really deep too.
ReplyDeleteThat last comment was from Brenna L.
ReplyDeleteJust saying.
1) Having parts of yourself or your past that you remember even when you don't want to.
ReplyDelete2)Line 1: Was the fairytale an inspiration for the poem or just a coincidence?
3)The last stanza; did you write the poem with that kind of end in mind?
4)Did you mean to make it look like a pen/pencil/other?
4 examples of simile: "glitters like a puddle in the sun", "like a frightened child", "feet of concrete" and "like a critic".
Monster: grotesque, fantasy, darkness,(good/sympathetic) soul
I loved the poem.
Claire C.
1)Never being able to forget bad thuings that have happened in the past.
ReplyDelete2)Line 11: Is the concrete holding you from moving on?
3)The first stanza: Is something troubling you that you can't get rid of?
4)Did you really let go of this problem forever?
4 Similes: "Like a critic I must trace", "like a frightened child I feel the need", "Like a puddle in the sun", "my feet are concrete"
Monster: Horror, Fictional, Somewhat Nice
Michael Derrico