Crystal
Mined in Puerto Rico
The black crystal like a star it shines
The weary workers work in a trio
Risking their lives as each of them whines
It flys like Superman all the way to El Salvador
Where the ladies craft and polish it into a ring
Looking black as a Labrador
It glazes as it shouts "bing"
But somewhere in this place,
a person buys the crystal after a fight
Waiting to put down the blaze and bring out the grace
His home is finally quiet, and the wife is filled with delight
I gaze at the crystal in my hand so brittle
Round as wheel,
Afraid this crystal will dwindle
Because mine came from a Happy Meal
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2554088/Crystal
-I like how the crystal came from a happy meal. I loved how you put alot of detail into it.
ReplyDelete-You could put commas at the end of some lines to make pauses. You could make it longer because it's really good.
1) A B A B is the rhyme scheme of the poem.
2) It was calm and relaxed.
3) Dwindle, Happy Meal, Labrador were interesting uses of diction.
4) "The black crystal like a star it shines..." is a good use of imagery.
5) "...weary workers work..." in line three is an example of alliteration.
6) I didn't see any.
7) In line eight personification was used when making the crystal shout.
8) In line eight "bing" is a form of onomatopoeia.
Jessica Hall
It was ironic how the crystal was from a Happy Meal, I thought it was going to be a legit crystal. Also I like the ammount of vivid imagrey.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure what "I glazes as it shouts 'bing'" means and there is not any punctuation
1 The rhyme scheme is ABAB.
2 The poem seems to have a dark/sad/opressed and impovrished mood.
3 Superman, bing, and dwindle are interesting uses of diction.
4 A use of imagey is "like a star it shines"
5 Line threee, "weary workers work" is an example of alliteration.
6 I do not see an example of internal rhyme.
7 Personification is used in stanza two, line one, "like superman it flies"
8 Onomatopoeia is used in stanza two line four, "bing"
Nolan Thompson
-I enjoyed how in you get the reader excited throughout the poem and then make a twist in the end when you say its from a Happy Meal. I also like how you described how it was created and what the crystal went through.
ReplyDelete-I think you need to improve punctuation and give it an ending and conclusion.
1) The rhyme scheme went A, B, A, B.
2) It was serious at first, but then it was humorous at the end.
3) I liked how you put Superman, comparing whatever transported it to El Salvador. I like how you use Happy Meal because it put a fun twist on the end. I also like how you used "whine".
4) The last phrase gives an image of a person opening a package and shaking out the ring.
5) Alliteration was used in the first stanza, line 3. "Weary workers work"
6) "Crystal and brittle." Last phrase, first line.
7) Personification was used when you said it flys to El Salavador. Second stanza, first line.
8) Onomatopoeia was used in the second stanza, last line. "Bing"
-Soeun Park
Two aspects I really enjoyed:
ReplyDelete-I really like how you were describing something throughout the whole poem, but never mentioned what it was.
-The second apspect I really liked about your poem was the way you worded everything.
Suggestions for improvement:
-One suggestion for improvement is you could have mentioned what the item was you were talking about at the end of the poem somewhere instead of just as the title.
-Another suggestion for improvement is you could have made more stanzas to help show you really put a lot of work and effort into it. Taht would also help show you deserve a good grade on it.
Rhyme Scheme
-The rhyme scheme in your poem is ABAB.
Tone
-The tone of your poem seemed to be a interesting tone.
Diction
-One interesting use of diction was when you used the word "bing".
-The second interesting use of diction was how you said "Because it came from a Happy Meal" beacause it tells you it is a toy from McDonald's.
-The third interesting use of diction was the simile "It flys like Superman all the way to El Salvador".
Imagery
-An example of imagery in the poem is the way it painted a picture of the crystal in my head.
Alliteration
-The alliteration in your poem is shine and whine. line 2 and 4
Internal rhyme
-I'm not sure of what the internal rhyme is, but a guess is it might be lives and whines. line 4
Personification
-The personification in your poem is looking black as a labrador. line 7
Onomatopoeia
-Onomatopoeia was used with the word "bing". line 8
Amber Howdershelt:)
1) This poem is about what a crystal goes through before it reaches its new owner.
ReplyDelete2) I wonder what the third stanza, third line means.
3) The last stanza is a bit unclear to me. Is the crystal not real?
4) One question I have about the entire poem is the crystal real or fake? You create suspense, the gives the poem humor at the end.
-"The black crystal like a star it shines" "It flys like Superman all the way to El Salvador" "Looking black as a Labrador" "Round as a wheel"
-Crystal- shiny, beautiful, delightful, geometric, smooth
--Soeun Park
1) This poem is about the nature and pathways a crystal takes to finally get into where it is as a ring on a wifes finger.
ReplyDelete2) In stanza 3, line 4, "His home is finally quiet, and the wife is filled with delight" Well i don't really get when his house wasn't quiet, i dont know i just don't get it.
3) One question i have is about stanza 4. I think something changes and the whole thinga bout the happy meal...i just don't get the irony, sorry im slow today.
4) A question i have about the entire poem is: Whose point of view is it in..? the wife? the person with the happy meal? the crystals? im just a little confused.
Simile/Metaphors
1."Looking black as a Labrador" Simile
2."The black crystal like a star it shines" Simile
3. "It flys like Superman" Simile
4. "Round as a wheel" Simile
Symbol-"Bing"- Shiny,expensive, Glorious
Sara Berzingi