A Poem of love.......
Your heart is like a piece of iron,
But i know you are always kind,
Your eyes are like a shining sun,
I am sorry i was so blind.
If i'm shy, i will start to hiccup
But it is fine, atleast i get to see you,
It is ok if you tell me to shut up,
I will always forgive you.
When you start to cry, it feels like i am going to die,
I will always try to take them away
If that is okay,
But i would never say goodbye.
When i look into your eyes it looks like you are lost
Like a man lost inside a big and dark forest,
That is why i want to be with you
Because i will always love you.
I really like the similies used to describe everything. I also liked the rhyme scheme of this poem.
ReplyDeleteAn improvement could be a use of internal rhyme, because I didn't see one.
1. ABCBDEDEFGHH
2. The tone was very calm and upbeat.
3. Interesting uses of diction were "In a big dar forest," "Like a piece of iron."
4. A use of imagery was "Your eyes are like a shining sun."
5. A use of alliteration might be "shining sun."
6. I didn't see a use of internal rhyme.
7. I also didn't see personification.
8. A use of personification was "hiccup."
Alijah Martin
You were complaining because you lacked comments.
ReplyDeleteWell, I really like your poem, a lot. It's very sweet.
Anna Smith.
Oh hi Ruan. Um, I wanted to say that I very much so enjoyed your lovely poem. And maybe you should pluck up the courage the tell this girl, man! Just say'n.
ReplyDelete-Adyline "Addie".
similies/metaphor
ReplyDeleteheart like iron, like a shining son, like you are lost, like a man in forest,
I didnt understand your part about the man in the forest
I was wondering who that man was
I was wonering who your poem was about.
It reminds me of love, and my ex girlfriend
Will Andrews