I use this pencil like a utensil,
To let my mind wander as it should,
And what comes out is a mind bransle,
To others who misunderstand and ponder.
What comes out is a picture,
Of shapes and colors, that speak to the soul,
That is just as beautiful as many scriptures
And POW! Emotions leaked from it.
In this painting, from my soul,
A creative crying crackdown,
Shouted out words containing ideas,
And the ideas were like philosphies, of the heart.
So, others marveled at the creation,
That my imagination forged like a sword,
But the sensational truth about my creation
Is that it didn't take much to form.
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2554053/Your_Own_Creation
I liked the idea of how it's about being creative with paper and pencil, I also love the feel for the poem.
ReplyDeleteI might suggest that it could use a little more rhyme in it. I also think that maybe you should mention that there are other ways of art.
1)I don't see any rhyme scheme in the poem
2)Creative, artistic, confident
3)Scriptures, sensational, and radiant were all good word choices
4)I don't see any use of imagery
5)There was no use of alliteration
6)There was no use of internal rhyme
7)There was no use of personification
8)There was no use of onomatopoeia
Adam McKnight
-I liked the structure of how you built the first stanza. It reflects what many people face when they begin to draw a picture.
ReplyDelete-Possibly include more onomatopoeias and another use of alliteration.
1) Creation and form was a good use of a rhyme scheme. They flow together well and help describe the situation someone is in when they begin a picture.
2) Wonder, ponder, picture, and scripture was a very good use of tone in this particular poem.
3) Good use of diction. Many of the words in this poem described the mental process when one doodles.
4) Good use of imagery. Wandering and pondering were not only good word choices that helped me imagine what’s happening in this poem, but they both rhyme too.
5) The first stanza had good alliteration. I especially like "I put my pencil to my paper,
To let my mind wander,"
6) I like your use of internal rhyme that you used at the beginning of the last stanza.
7) I think a little more alliteration could be used.
8) An onomatopoeia is needed in this poem to meet Mr. Patrick’s requirements.
-Dennis
1) The poem is about creativity.
ReplyDelete2) When you said "...And the ideas were like philosphies, of the heart..." how can a heart have philosphies.
3) In stamxa 4, how did you get the idea that your imagination is beyond wonders of all others?
4) How is your topic clear to your reader when your poem is not really centered?
I use this pencil like a utensil
That is just as beautiful as many scriptures
And the ideas were like philosphies, of the heart
That my imagination forged like a sword,
Imagination - creative, wild, untamed, personal.
Jessica Hall
1) This poem is about creativity.
ReplyDelete2) What's a 'bransle"?
3) I don't completely understand the meaning of the third stanza. I don't get what you by 'philosphies of the heart" and how that relates to "shouted out words containing ideas."
4) Are you an artist? This poem seems like it was written by a sketch artist or painter.
Metaphors/Similes
A)I use this pencil like a utensil
B)And the ideas were like philosphies, of the heart.
C)That is just as beautiful as many scriptures
D)That my imagination forged like a sword
"Utensil" makes me think of forks, eating, tools, instruments, and creation.
Justice Redman