O Dreary day
Rain falling upon the sidewalk,
Like tear drops falling from the sky's cheeks,
Drip, drop, drip
As loud as clashing cymbals
Silent skies, speak with a roar.
Boom, clash, bang,
Flashes of light apear more and more,
Boom, clash, bang,
Flashes of light apear more and more,
Like lights strobing in the air.
Flash, flicker, flash
Flash, flicker, flash
The skies are dark and dreary,
Like a tunnel with no end.
Lost in confusion, the day tells his own story,
like meaningful allegory.
The world is covered with a blanket
like seeing through blurry eyes,
The once happy day is wearing a disquise,
O Dreary day, rain falling upon the sidewalk.
like seeing through blurry eyes,
The once happy day is wearing a disquise,
O Dreary day, rain falling upon the sidewalk.
-I liked your use of the onomatopoeias such as "Flash, flicker, flash" throught your poem.
ReplyDelete-I also liked your use of rhythm throughout your poem. It made me wonder what type of music you like.
-I think you could improve on your grammer by putting another comma on "Drip, drop, drip."
-You could also use more periods to let the reader know when to start and stop talking.
1.A, B, C, D, E, F, E, G, H, I, I, J
2.Sad, Serious, Mature
3.I liked how you used the words "Dreary", "Flash, and "Drip" in your poem
4.An example of imagery would be "Rain falling upon the sidewalk"
5.One use of alliteration i fouond was "Flash" and "Flashing"
6.One internal rhyme I found was "Eyes" and "Disguise"
7.One personification I found was "Falling from the sky's cheeks"
8.An onomatopoeia I found was "Flash, flicker, flash"
Michael Derrico
yo dis sum gangsta stuff right hurr ya see?!? This is slang for "legit" which means really good. Thank you for helping me clarify that Mr. Patrick.
ReplyDelete-Will Andrews
-I liked the imagery evoked by "the world is covered with a blanket" because I think it speaks of the blurred perception of people of each other throughout the world. Also the onomatopoeia "boom, clash, bang" characterizes the skys well.
ReplyDelete-There could be another comma after drop and drip
and more commas at the end of the lines to let the reader know when to pause.
1. TO BE CONTINUED.... Next time on English 9
Continued from October 7, 2010, 11:31 AM
ReplyDelete1. Rhyme Scheme: A,B,C,D,E,F,E,G,H,I,I,J
2.The tone could be serious, somber, or pessimistic.
3. I liked the use of "tear drops falling from the sky's cheeks", "silent skys, speak with a roar", and "the world is covered with a blanket".
4. One example of imagery is "flashes of light appear more and more".
5. Alliteration was used in "Dreary day", "drip, drop, drip", "silent skys", and "flash, flicker, flash" Lines 1,4,5, and 8 respectively.
6. Internal rhyme- "more and more" Line 7.
7.Personification- "The once happy day is wearing a disguise" Line 11.
8. Onomatopoeia- "drip, drop, drip" and "flash, flicker, flash" Lines 4 and 8.
Duncan Crooks
1. This poem reminds me of a person who has been hurt badly by someone close to them, and now everyone is pointing fingers and trying to make it their business while whoever was hurt is still confused and broken.
ReplyDelete2. In line three of the fourth stanza, are you trying to say that the person who has been hurt has never been hurt before?
3. With your third stanza, "meaningful allegory" doesn't really fit. Do you think another line would close it better?
4. Was the entire poem written to describe yourself or someone you know?
Examples of Simile/Metaphor:
1. "like teardrops falling from the sky's cheeks"
2. "like lights strobing in the air"
3. "like seeing through blurry eyes"
4. "like a tunnel with no end"
Symbol: Lights
Exposure, understanding, being alone or high up, happiness, brightness, white, shining, stars
Esha Halabe
ReplyDelete