Leopard’s Jaws
Silent, slinking, stealing through snow
In the middle of the dead night,
The leopard screeching when he gets close is a fright
But he is not a foe, he is here to let you know
That even though his jaw's grip is a monster's strength
And every breath you take is but cactus spines,
Your life is filled with many fines.
The leopard will speak to you at length
In the middle of the dead night,
The leopard screeching when he gets close is a fright
But he is not a foe, he is here to let you know
That even though his jaw's grip is a monster's strength
And every breath you take is but cactus spines,
Your life is filled with many fines.
The leopard will speak to you at length
But only after shaking you like a doll
And after leaving you to rot in the dark.
You will be left with the wounds of an attack of a shark.
Even though you will not want to hear it, you will want to stall.
With his breath of reeking, dying fish,
Be careful of what you do, what you choose,
With me, you do not want to lose.
With me, you do not want to lose.
Like a bird without wings, of anything else you will wish.
I liked how used your imagination. This was an interesting poem to read.Something you could fix is, putting more adjectives to make it more descriptive. Also, making it not so scary and a little more graceful.
ReplyDelete1)The rhyme scheme was a,b,b,a,c,d,d,c,e,f,f,e.
2)The poets tone was creepy,soft,and mysterious.
3)An intersting thing was how he said his breath of reeking dying fish. Another was, how the jaws gripped like a strong monster. One last intersting thing was how the leopard will speak to me in length.
4)The cactus spines were the imagery in the poem.
5)The first line had alliteration by using the words "silent, slinking, and stealing."
6)In the fourth line, there was internal rhyme with foe and know.
7)Saying the leopard speaks is using personification.
8)Screeching is how he used onomatopoeia.
Kelsie Hibbs
I really liked the way your poem could be so easily left up to the reader to interpret and the way it sounded so deep and meaningful. I also thought the third line of the last stanza was a good way to sum everything up and bring it to an end.
ReplyDeleteTo improve your poem, I think you should have used the third to last line, "like a bird without wings, of anything else you wish." as your last line. It would leave a better lasting impression. Also, you could improve the clarity of the message you are trying to convey, even though it is extremely well written.
1. The rhyme scheme: a, b, b, a. c, d, d, c. e, f, f, e.
2. The poem had a creepy and depressing sort of tone to it. The writer seemed like he had a lot on his mind and needs to put it all behind him to let him be happier.
3. Interesting usues of diction in the poem included "screeching when he gets close", "every breath you take" and "with me, you do not want to lose." All of the example added meaning.
4. Imagery was found in several areas. "The leapord screeching when he gets close is a fright" was one.
5. Alliteration was used in line 1 "Silent, slinking, stealing through snow".
6. Internal rhyme was used in line 4 "Foe and know"
7. Personification was used in the line "the leopord speaks"
8. Onomatopoeia was used in like 3 "screeching"
Esha Halabe
-This poem is about a leopard that does nothing but torture his prey. This poem is like an allegory speaking to the reader.
ReplyDelete-A question about a line of the poem is where it says "With his breath of reeking, dying fish." If it is not eating a fish then why does his breath smell like it?
-I percieved the second stanza to mean that the thing that is being victimized has done wrong and is being tortured because of it. Is this what you were thinking when you wrote this?
-I found this poem a bit confusing because it talks about eating fish but its supposed to be speaking to the reader and eating you personally. It's supposed to be a symbolism of guilt or some other flaw we may have that is eating us alive.
-Examples of similes or metaphors:
1. "With me, you do not want to lose.
Like a bird without wings, of anything else you will wish."
2. "But only after shaking you like a doll"
3. "That even though his jaw's grip is a monster's strength"
4. "And every breath you take is but cactus spines,.."
-A symbolic word in this poem could be "Fines."
When i think of fines, i think of breaking the law, personal/physical punishments, parking tickets, or paying ones dues.
-Madison Owens