Hey, this is my title:
thisiswhathappenswhenyouwriteapoemaftersweeneytoddat10:45pm.
there once was a fellow
whoatecupsofjello
the jello was yellow
twasashadeohsomellow
he had a friend named vincent
whoateamountsofitsomagnificent
his stomach made him look like an elephant
thismanmustn'thavebeenverybrilliant
the elephant was paid with money
allheboughtwashoney
although it was a bit runny
ittastedextremelyyummy
he got lipo because he was fat
nowhe'sassmallasacat
the cat wears a ridiculous hat
andhasswooshywingslikeabat
THEEND.
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2555133/thisiswhathappenswhenyouwriteapoemaftersweeneytoddat10%3A45pm.
I love the colour and the blurring words!!!
ReplyDeleteI think you could make it easier to read, but I know that isn't fun... With the blurring lines I would have taken off any repeated letters.
1.Rhyme sceme- A, A, A, A, B, B, B, B, C, C, C, C, D, D, D, D
2.tone- cheerful and bright!!! :) :P
3.diction- I liked "twas" 'cause it's a fun word and fits, "of it so magnificent" because it's an abnormal use of the words, and "oh so mellow" again the abnormal...ness?
4.imagery-oh so mellow shade of jello :)
5.alliteration-stanza 2, line 3, "Look Like"
6.internal rhyme- jello was yellow
7.personification-cat wears a hat.
8.no onomatopeia?
~Cyry!
I like the colors. A lot. But the words run together a lot, and it's hard to understand. I did not know you had a fixiation of J-ello.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure everything rhymed in here. And I'm too lazy to actually tell you what it is.
Tone? Well the tone of this, I think, is siliness.
Diction, diction-I don't like this checklist-it was ALL very interesting!
Imagery: welllllll, A lot of animals popped into mind.
Alliteration was not found perhapsbecauseyouranalltheletterstogetherlikethissoitishardtoread.
(That's actually a sentence)
You internal rhyme was "J-ello is yellow"
Personification was found with giving animals human qualities. I liked it.
Where is you onomatopoeia, missy?
-Adyline
I love the playfulness of the words, but the colors got distracting and hard to read. Or rather, the dark background behind the colors. I think it's okay for the words to blur together as long as they're readable.
ReplyDeleteDr. Benson
Yo. It's Alyx. And you're welcome for taking you to Sweeny Todd and inspiring you so. I liked this a lot.
ReplyDeletethank you for inspiring me, dear. it was the only thing i could come up with. so thank you.
ReplyDeleteOkay, Beth and Adyline. I am repsonding to your 'blurred words' comment.
ReplyDeleteIt's supposed to he hard to read, or read quickly...when I edited the poem i tried fixing the colors a littel so it was easier to read...but you know. Hahaha.
When I first started reading, the title made me think that this poem was going to be an experimental one. That's awesome. It's cool when someone tries to do something new with a piece of art. The poem sort of reminds me of stuff Bob Dylan wrote. If you haven't heard him, you should. It's sometimes hard though to read most of the lines because of the way you decided to ingnore your space bar on the keyboard.
ReplyDeleteWhy did you color some of the letters?
Why did you mash up some of the letters in the second stanza? (These aren't my questions. Mr Patrick is making me write them against my will)
Still, it's interesting. Similes and metaphors were throughout the poem. There was tons of imagery. It was so imaginative though, I can't describe it. Good one.
P.S. Seriously though Bob Dylan's good.