Just Febuary
Once upon a dreamy night,
There was a wind that sent a fright.
But it happened to be ordinary,
Only a sign of a frightful Febuary.
The wind howled like the local band,
With snow dripping like sand from a hand.
The people all stayed cozy in their homes,
Dreaming of houses with snow covered domes.
When all that happened was said and done,
The children went out and had their winter fun.
The parents went out and cleared the streets,
Waiting for flip flop weather for their feet.
I love the whimsical quality and how it's trying to sound serious. I love the line about howling like the local band. I found that humorous. All in all, marvelous work!!!
ReplyDeleteTwo suggestions for improvement? This might take a moment. Let's see, I personally think you need to keep the meter more consistent, it just makes it flow better, but I'm guilty of this same crime. The last sentence of the last stanza doesn't flow as well as it could. Once again, something I too am guilty of.
1. A,A,B,B
2. There is a sort of whimsical and dreamy tone.
3. Frightful February, dreamy night, wind that sent a fright.
4. "Snow dripping like sand from a hand."
5. "Frightful February"
6. "Sand from a hand"
7. "The wind howled like the local band"
8. "Dripping"
Jessica Nelson
Madison, you are amazing. I wub uu. My favorite part of your poem was when you talk about people staying cozy in their homes, for some reason it makes me think of fireplaces and hot chocolate. :) I also enjoy the poem as a whole because it is a good look at February and winter! it makes me think about snowmen and sledding and even cleaning up the street. Nicely done :) I only have one suggestion for improvement, which is that I think that you could have used some different and more "flowery" or rich diction, just to mix it up a bit. But thats the only thing!!
ReplyDelete1. A,A,B,B.
2. Dreamy, cozy, and excited for "flip-flop weather"!
3. Three interesting uses of diction was when you used the simile "with snow dripping like sand from a hand", which I thought was a perfect comparison for you to use! Also, when you said "dreaming of houses with snow-covered domes" because I enjoy looking at houses and their beauty in the snowy weather. Last, I liked when you used "the wind howled like a local band" because I NEVER would have thought to compare the wind to that. I probably would have just compared it to a dog. ;P
4. One example of imagery was when you caused the reader to picture the snow dripping from their hand, and I imagined the cold on my hand.
5. Frightful February
6. Internal rhyme used "like sand from a hand" (sand,hand).
7. Personification- wind howled like a local band.
8. Onomatopoeia- :) love that word. "Flip-flop"?
--Cassidy Harris