The soccer ball is like a sad puppy, cold and wet
We haven't won a game yet
My mom cheers like a crazed monkey in the stands
Aww man, she is our only fan
I have no social life indeed
If it's one thing, it's friends I need
My shoes "squeak" like a mouse
The only reason i have shoes is because i sold my house
My life is surely just a fail
I always walk down the wrong trail
My life goes all but fast
please dont put me in the past
Cassidy Harris helped write this poem for me
But Mrs. Secreto, its okay 'cause she's as cool as can be
Your like a super, special, smart lady who should give me an "A"
But even if you don't, i fail at most things anyway
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2544289/Nathan_pd3
I also adore soccer.
ReplyDeleteI like the request to get an A.
I dont like that Cassidy wrote this, write it yourself.
I dont think you should say you fail about yourself, be confident.
1. A,A,B,B
2. Depressing
3. Crazed- describes the "monkey's" reactions
Super, special, smart- describes Mrs. Secreto well
Squeak- describes the sound clearly
4. Ball is sad and wet
5. Super, special, smart. Line 11
6. Aww man, she's our only fan. Line 4
7. My shoes squeak like a mouse. Line 7
8. Squeak. Line 7
Bayan Razzaq
I like the humor of the poem. Two suggestions are better capitalization and grammer.
ReplyDelete1) AABB
2) Depressing, humorous
3) Crazed is described with a monkey
Squeak like a mouse
"Aww" was used
4) "Sad and wet"
5) Super, special, smart- Line 11
6) "man" and "fan"- Line 4
7) "squeak like a mouse"- Line 7
8) "squeak"- Line 7
Lauren Addicks
I lke the hopeful optimism that this conveys, as well as bluntness of asking for an "A".
ReplyDeleteTo improve you could vary your word choice and go into more detail.
1. AABB
2. Optimistic
3. crazed monkey, "soccer ball is sad and wet", AWW-describes your mood at the moment well.
4."My mom cheers like a crazed monkey"
5. In line 11, super, special, smart.
6. In line 4, AWW man, shes our only fan.
7. In line 7, my shoes squeek.
8. In line 7, "squeek".
Mady Duarte
I like the cassidy helped you part
ReplyDeleteYou should rhyme more
1) AABB
2)Not cool
3)Crazed monkey Super and Squeak
4)Cheering like a monkey
5)Super special smart
6)man shes are fan
7)Squeak
8)Squeak
Adam Shaw
8)Squeak
SO TRUE!!!!! except the "cool"part. Whoever wrote this is awsome. The rhyme was very good, and the rythm worked.
ReplyDeleteHEY NATHAN, ITS NATHAN P.
ReplyDeleteUR POEM IS AWESOME!
The peom is about his failure of a life.
ReplyDeleteWhy would a puppy be cold and wet?
Why did you add the line about the puppy? it doesnt flow well.
How much did Cassidy help you Nathan?
"The soccer ball is like a sad puppy, cold and wet
"My mom cheers like a crazed monkey in the stands"
"My shoes "squeak" like a mouse"
"Your like a super, special, smart lady who should give me an "A""
Those are the smilies and metaphors
"Puppy" playful, happy, energetic, DRY, smart.
Zac pd3
1) Its about random stuff
ReplyDelete2)Why did cassidy help you?
3) Are you good at soccer?
4) You should had wrote it yourself
Like a sad puppy
Like a crazed monkey
Like a super special lady
Shoes squeak like a mouse
Do it yourself next time and youll be ok
This poem is about how his life is a failure.
ReplyDeleteOne question I have about a line is on line 1, why is the soccer ball wet?
One question I have about a particular stanza of the poem is why you don't have any friends or a social life.
One question I have about the entire poem is why Cassidy helped you write the poem.
The soccer ball is like a sad puppy, cold and wet
My mom cheers like a crazed monkey in the stands
My shoes "squeak" like a mouse
Your like a super, special, smart lady who should give me an "A"
Mouse- small furry animal, squeaking, soft.
Jack period 3
you sound depressed in your poem.
ReplyDeleteYou sound really depressed in this poem.
ReplyDeletePoor Nathan :_(
Your best friend,
BRITTANY C.
Your poem is very well written. I like it alot! :)
ReplyDelete(kicker)
Cassidy should be given more credit!!! She is awesomeful and wrote the WHOLE thing I heard.
ReplyDelete