Come on it's summer
Don't be a bummer
Let's all head out
All of a sudden everyone shouts,
Splash, Splash, Splash
As the kids dashed
In to the singing swimming pool
Just like ice, the kids are now cool
3, 2, 1, cannon ball
As they all call
The water waits while
Like leave the kids fall in to a pile
Dipping and zipping all day long
Laughing as if they were singing a song
Screaming like their scared
Running freely as if no one cared
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2545208/Pool_Time
I really liked the way you started the poem with splash three times. Also, I really liked how you gave the pool personification in more than one stanza. Although this poem is very good, if I had to improve something to your poem, I would use a different word to describe the kids laughing so it isn't the same as the pool. Also, I would improve puncuation to help with flowing.
ReplyDelete1.) aabb
2.) happy and exciting
3.) "dipping and zipping" was an interesting use of dicton because "zipping" is a very unique word to use. "the water waits" is an intersting choice of diction because you usually don't think of a pool as waiting on the kids. "3,2,1, cannon ball" was good diction because it is a neat way to show the kids jumping in the pool.
4.) "running freely as if no one cared"
5.) "singing swimming" line #3
6.) "dipping and zipping" line #9
7.) "the water waits" line #7
8.) "splash" line #1
Lindsay Boltralik
This poem was very creative and enjoyable to read. I like how it has a happy tone and rhymed well.
ReplyDeleteThe poem was nice to read, and if i could make a suggestion it would be to add assonance. Also, you could use more diction. This poem was very good.
1. aabb, ccdd, eeff
2. The tone was positive
3. singing- i like how you described the pool like this
waits- i like how you describe the water as waiting
freely- this makes the poem have a very happy tone
4. Running freely as if no one cared
5. singing swimming on line 3
6. dipping and zipping on line 9
7. singing swimming pool on line 3
8. splash on line 1
Sydney Pineault
1) This poem is about having a fun time at the pool and not caring what anyone else thinks as long as you are enjoying yourself.
ReplyDelete2) One question I have for a particular line is line 4 of stanza 3. Did you mean to say leaves instead of leave, and are the children falling in a pile on the ground or in the pool?
3) One question I have about a particular stanza is Stanza 3. Why did you change the rhythm of the oem, this stanza doesn't flow as well as the others?
4)One question I have about the entire poem is why did you make the poem flow the way you did
The 4 examples of simile or metaphor were:
Just like ice, the kids are now cool
Like leave the kids fall in to a pile
Laughing as if they were singing a song
Running freely as if no one cared
Summer- relaxation, no school, fun with friends, summer job
Pool- relaxing, fun, swimming, summer
Kids dashed- fun, friendly competition, impatient
TJ Haws
1.) This poem is about the summertime and kids playing in a pool having a good time.
ReplyDelete2.) One question I have for a particular line of the poem is in line # 14 why you chose to describe the laughing as singing?
3.) One qyestion I have for a particular stanza of the poem is stanza # 1 why didn't you put anything about kids in this stanza, while all the others were about kids?
4.) One question I have about the entire poem is what inspired you put kids and the summertime together?
Examples of Metaphors/Similies
1.) "Just like ice" in line # 8
2.) "like leaves the kis fall" line # 12
3.) "Laughing as if they were singing a song" line # 14
4.) "screaming like their scared" line # 15
Symbolic Word
singing- saying words in tune, flowing melodically, seeming to have a melody or pattern
Lindsay Boltralik
1) This poem is about kids swimming during the summertime.
ReplyDelete2) One question I have for a particular line in the poem is what pile do the kids fall into in line 12?
3)One question I have about a particular stanza of the poem is in stanza 4, what do you mean by zipping?
4) One question I have about the entire poem is, is this what you did over summer to get the idea of it?
Similies/metaphors
1)Just like ice, the kids are now cool
2)