All the Difference
I see people today, they're all puppets, all the same.
They want to fit in, want to achieve fame.
They always do what they think is right.
In chasing their goals, they miss the light.
They don't realize time can't be turned back.
There are no time machines, no time crack.
Their soul is calling, but is lost in the wind.
The wind of peer pressure that has you pinned.
Life is short, gone in a blink of an eye.
Looking back, you see your life was a lie.
Have you used your talents or just followed the crowd?
Listen to that sound, it's where your personality is bound.
Time is a hourglass, slowly slipping away.
Difference is good, make your own way.
You'll soar higher, like an eagle without limits.
And when you have done all that, you'll have made all the difference.
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2545153/All_the_Difference
I enjoyed the message and metaphors in your poem. My only suggestions are to maybe change some words in the last stanza so "difference" isn't used twice, and to maybe change "achieve" in the first stanza. It makes it sound a little awkward. 1)AABB 2)The tone is wistful. 3)Chasing,bound, soar. 4)Listen to that sound 5)no alliteration 6)sound and bound, line 7 7)no pesonification 8)no onomatopoeia
ReplyDeleteNick Gallagher
That was the best poem ive seen in the 13 years of my life. I like the concept.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't use the poem tools to much.
It is too good for more improvements.
1.AABB
2.very serious
3.puppets, time is a hourglass,
4.time is an hourglass
5.none that i noticed
6. sound...bound line 8
7.none
8. none
AKSHAY CHANDRAN
it was good, but mine was so much better overall than this piece of.......Beautiful ignorance. I think beautiful ignorance is somewhat a good thing but mostly a bad thing. Yea boiiiiiii
ReplyDelete1.AABB
2.very serious
3.puppets, time is a hourglass,
4.time is an hourglass
5.none that i noticed
6. sound...bound line 8
7.none
8. none
.....I AM ONE AND ONLY TOO
ReplyDelete"You will not achieve fame by being normal"
ReplyDelete-Reuel Zinn
Amazingly beautiful poem with amazing imagery and similes. As a famous poem critic, I would have to say this is the best poem I myself have ever read. Absolutely incredible. You obviously have a great potential to be a rich and famous poet. Good luck sire!
ReplyDeleteI liked the poem a lot. The metaphors were good and it had a good message.
ReplyDeleteMy only suggestionis that some of th erhymes don't quite match up, but it's really good! :)
1) AABB
2) The tone is very serious and thoughtful.
3) Hourglass, soar, and puppets were good uses of diction. very descriptive.
4) An example of imagery is created by saying the people are puppets.
5) An example of alliteration is stanza 3 line 1, "sand slipping."
6) Sound and bound is an internal rhyme used, stanza2, line 4.
7) I don't believe personification was used.
8) Onomatopoeia was not used.
Lily Bailey
I REALLY ENJOYED YOUR POEM BUT I THINK THE QUESTION DOES REALLY FLOW THROUGH THE POEM. I DO THINK IT IS A GOOD ADDITIION TO IT. MAYBE YOU SHOULD RE WORD IT.
ReplyDeleteNATHAN PETROS
WOW THERE OLIVER. THIS IS ONLY 9TH GRADE HONORS. USE THIS POEM IN COLLEGE.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete1. The poem is about a person who doesn't realize how quick life will go and how you have to live it up. There's no reason to waste your life.
ReplyDelete2. Line 11- I don't really understand this line.
3. Stanza 1- You say humans are like puppets, all the same. Puppets can be very different however. I would change this simile for something different.
4. What were you really intending this whole poem to symbolize? It's not completely clear.
Similes/Metaphors
-people are puppets
-time is an hourglass
-sore like an eagle
-wind of peer pressure
Difference
=unique
=non-resembling
=indivuality
=people
=emotions
=ideas
=oliver
This poem just got better Oliver. Good Job!!
ReplyDelete1. This poem is about most of the population in high school and is very deep.
2. What is the part about chasing their limits and missed their lights?
3.What is the part about the life going by in the 3rd stanza?
4. What group of the population is this poem supposed to be for?
Similes/Metaphors
1.time is a hourglasss
2. soarlike and eagle
3. life is a lie
4. people are puppets
eagle= america, proud, soaring, leader, symbolic,
AKSHAY CHANDRAN