I am often submerged in dreamland;
This is where I like to stay.
It's as loud as a big brass band,
And my thoughts run around and play.
This land is always in motion;
Often it just zooms by.
It's as fast as the rolling ocean,
And the land's as sweet as cherry pie.
The land is as calming as the rising sun.
I am fully rested here and my mind is all but bare.
The time in dreamland's over almost before it has begun.
I take a deep breath of the night air; the warmth in it is rare.
I wonder how long I've been here,
And how long that I'll stay.
The time to leave is now near,
There are times I wish that I could live here every single day.
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2544310/DreamLand_
Two aspects of the poem i enjoyed was the creativity and the connection i had with it
ReplyDeleteTwo aspects that need improvment might be more detail on your dream land and were it goes.
1. ABAB
2. The poets tone is very dreamy
3.Some intersting uses of diction was submerged, brass, zips
4. Its loud as a big brass band
5. big brass band line 3
6. air,there line 12
7. my thoughts run around and play line 4
8. zip line 6
Hebah Kassar
I enjoyed your word choice and the message your poem had to offer. The message was pretty jello and had a lots of emotion in it about your dreamland. The word choice in my opinion was very vivid and flowing. I think you need to improve on using more symbolism for the aspects of your dreamland as well as maybe personifying an animal living in this dreamland.
ReplyDelete1) The rhyme scheme was A B A B, with every other word at the end of the line rhyming.
2)The poets tone was a very happy and joyful tone as they described in the dreamland.
3)Some examples of interesting uses of diction include being submerged in dreamland, the land always in motion to describe the fast pace of the land, and taking a deep breath of the night air to describe how she is finished visiting the land.
4)An example of imagery is in stanza 2 of how she describes the land being in motion and moving as fast as the ocean and the land as sweet as pie.
5)The alliteration used was big brass band
6)Internal rhyme was used in stanza 3 with air and there.
7)The personification used was making the thoughts run and play in the dreamland.
8)The onomatopoeia in the poem was the zips in stanza 2.
Caroline Shamberger
1)The poem is about daydreaming and living in a dreamland. They want to stay in this dreamland because it seems perfect for them.
ReplyDelete2)In line 12, why is the deep breath of night air so rare?
3)In the second stanza, why does the dreamland seem to zoom by?
4)Is the dreamland always the same everytime you visit it?
4 examples of simile and metaphor are: loud as a big brass band, fast as the rolling ocean, the land is as sweet as cherry pie, and the land is as calming as the rising sun.
The symbolic part of the poem is ocean, which is associated with beach, sand, and sun.
Caroline Shamberger
1) This poem is about dreams when you are asleep, the little we all go when we're out cold at night. (:
ReplyDelete2) One question I have for a particular line of the poem (This land is always in motion) is how is it in motion?
3)One question I had for a particular stanza of ze poem ezz about stanza two; how is the world so sweet and so fast in this dream? Are you talking about a specific dream?
4) One question I have about the entire poem is do dream about all this stuff all the time?
Four examples:
as a big brass band
is as calming as the rising sun
as fast as the rolling ocean
as sweet as cherry pie
Cherry:
Red, happy, candy, Fourth of July, Christmas, makeup, fruit, milkshakes, strawberries, tree.
BY ZE REBEKAH SHEPHAR, ONLY MEANT FOR MORIAH'S POEM.
**SHEPHARD
ReplyDeleteCaroline: 1) The night air is rare because in dreamland it is almost always daytime.
ReplyDelete2) The dreamland seems to zoom by because time in it goes by so quickly.
3) The dreamland is never the same when I visit it. That is why it is so said to leave it everytime because I know that I will never see this certain place again.
Rebekah: 1) The land seems like it is always in motion because there is always something going on there.
2) Everytime I have dreams they are beautiful and over way to fast, and no I am not talking about a certain dream just about dreams in general.
3) No I dream about literally everything. My dreams vary in so many ways it is incredible.
Moriah Davis