Control
Standing on the perfect street, looking high above
The buildings stand straight and tall, white as snow
The fresh air and clear skies
Aren't all we get, for living here
Looking down from the highest skyscraper
The city is bleached and all the colors are gone
The tallest buildings reach for the blue skies
The sound of cars and subways hum down in the blur
Far below like ants on the ground the people walk along a grid
All the personality is dead
Dust and dirt is long gone
The sun reflects off the flawless streets
The blinding light scorches the cool morning air, like a fire in winter
I stare out beyond the city and know
That someone out there is taking over
But down below, no one cares, or no one knows
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2544375/The_City
Two aspects of the poem that I like are the feelings that it gives me, and how mysterious the poem is.
ReplyDeleteA few suggestions to improve are fixing the grammer and spelling porblems.
1) no rhyme scheme
2) depressed, mysterious, dark
3) describing the wires as a tangled maze, blinding sun torches, and using the word bleached
4)"electric wires are like a tangled maze"
5) sun scorches line 9
6) haze and maze line 8
7) buildings reaching line 3
8) hum line 4
Zac Leombruno
hahahaha
ReplyDelete-Hunter Montgomery
"A few suggestions to improve are fixing the grammer and spelling porblems." Zac leombruno.
ReplyDeleteZac, look at the word problems in the review.
This poem is about a city. One question I have for a particular line of the poem is that in the line "The buildings stand straight and tall, white as snow" do you mean that it is winter? One question I have for a particular stanza is for the third stanza do you mean that in a good way or a bad way? For the entire poem I have one question, is this this poem supposed to be happy or depressing?
ReplyDeleteFour metaphors and/or similes
1) "The buildings stand straight and tall, white as snow"
2) "like ants on the ground the people walk along a grid"
3) "The blinding light scorches the cool morning air, like a fire in winter"
4) "The city is bleached"
Symbolic
City-noise, loud, shopping, pollution (yet strangely beautiful), grey, taxis, cars, traffic, horns, honking, nightlife, restaurants
Lauren A.
1)This poem is about cities
ReplyDelete2)what did you mean in line 4?
3)stanza 4, why does no one care?
4) What are you trying to say about cities?
Similie and metaphor:
1. white as snow
2. like ants on the ground
3. like a fire in winter
"The sun reflects off the flawless streets"
My eyes are sore, sun off the snow, sunglasses.
Hunter M.