The wind leads to the bright path
Down the inspiring and warm way, like a road
With bicycles steering in first gear mode
Without even the slightest hint of wrath
Suddenly, that nice warm path turned dark and wet
The birds disappear and the worms emerge from the ground
The chirping of the birds turned to a loud thunderous sound
As in seconds, it's like a change in set
The rain then turns to a slight drizzle
The dark, grey clouds turn to white
Becoming inspiringly luminescent, like a light
The new warmth heats the ground to sizzle
Optomistic and positive are the words to describe this new land
Riveting rivers glide peacefully, with no fear
Like the rest of the world, the singing of birds is truly dear
All negativity is strictly banned.
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2544266/Lonely_Path
I liked your use of imagery to make the reader feel as if you are actually there. I also enjoyed the underling message which seems to suggest thet even when things are bad they can get better.
ReplyDeleteTo improve you could vary your word choice and use more onomatopeia.
1. The rhyme scheme is A, B, B, A.
2. This poem is optimistic because it says that better times are ahead.
3. Descibing bright as inspiring was interesting diction, as well as when you said "a change in set" whichile some might of said "it was different" or used less inspiring words. In addition, I like your metaphor of the bicicle, suggesting an easy ride.
4. I read this poem thinking of a stormy dark day turned into a land of light and sun.
5.In line 9 "then turns".
6. In line 3 "steering...gear".
7.In line 1 "wind leads".
8. In line 7 "chirping of the birds".
Mady Duarte
-Two aspects of the poem I really enjoyed were the great use of imagery and great rhyming skills used.
ReplyDelete-Two suggestions for improvement would be to keep all of your nouns in the same tense, and maybe add more stanzas to the poem.
1.)The rhyme scheme of the poem is ABBA.
2.)The poet's tone is mostly solemn and serious. The end suggests optimism, though.
3.)Three interesting uses of diction would be the word choice for multiple descriptions of "the path", the wide variety of vocabulary, and the way the author explains the dark turning to light.
4.)One example of imagery would be the path turning from dark to light.
5.)I couldn't find the example of alliteration, but I'm sure it is there!
6.)Internal rhyme was used in line 3, "steering in first gear."
7.)Personification was used in line 1, "wind leading the... path"
8.)An onomatopoeia was used in line 7, "chirping of birds."
-Victoria Robinson
I liked the way you described every thing. I also enjoyed how you used the word sizzle and drizzle lol.
ReplyDelete1.ABBA
2.The tone of the poet starts at cheerful then moves its way to dreadful.
3.Describing how the rain turns into a small drizzle makes the poem feel real.
4.Whe you said "Sudenly, that nice warm path turned dark and wet" it made me think of a big rain storm comming in.
5."then turns" in line 9
6."steering gear" in line 3
7."wind leads" in line 1
8."chirping of the birds" in line 6
~Katie :)
Good use of imagery and describing words.
ReplyDeleteIDK
1. ABBA
2. peaceful
3. calling a road inspiring, thundersous makes me think of a big storm, positive could mean the land is rich in resources
4. grey clouds turn to white
5. then turns line 9
6. steering gear line 3
7. wind leads line 1
8. chirping line 6
River
1.)The poem is about overcoming obstacles.
ReplyDelete2.)One question I have for line 7 of the poem is what "thunderous sound" is being made?
3.)One question I have for stanza 4 of the poem is what is happening during this time?
4.)One question I have for the entire poem is why does the "path" keep changing from light to dark? What are you trying to imply?
Similes & Metaphors
-"Down the inspiring warm way, like a road"
-"Its like a change in set"
-"Become inspiringly, like a light"
-"Like the rest of the world, the singing of birds is truly dear"
RIVERS: swimming, trees & nature, sun
-Victoria [:
1. this poem is about having no negativity
ReplyDelete2. one particular question i have about line 5 is why did the path all of a sudden turn dark and wet?
3. a question i have about stanza 1 is where was the bright path located?
4. One question i have about the entire poem is why did the path change in the first place?
examples of similes/metaphors
like a road
like a change in set
the rain then turns to a slight drizzle
like a light
path- long, transportation, trees, wind
Hebah Kassar
Victoria:)
ReplyDelete1) There is no actual "thunderous sound," it's meant to imply the transition from light to dark with a bang.
2) During stanza 4, i'm just summing up what the new land is like and saying that the everything is okay.
3) The "path" keeps changing from light to dark because i'm trying to tell you that no matter how good things are, or how bad, you just have to keep going, and eveything will turn out just fine.
Hebah:
1) Because not everything in life is just a walk in the park, there's always going to be negativity.
2) The "bright path" is honestly wherever you want the positivity in your life to be.
3) The path changed because i didn't want the entire poem to just be positive.
-Mazie:)
I Really liked how it seemed like I was there. The whole poem was very good. I didn't find anything wrong with it except that i couldn't find an internal rhyme.
ReplyDelete1)The rhyme scheme of this poem was ABBA.
2)The poets tone was changing.
3)Three interesting uses of diction were "nice warm path" where you instead could have said nice 'inviting' path, another was "loud thunderous sound" were you could have said loud 'mighty' sound, and the third was "The wind leads to the bright path" which could have been The wind 'flows' to the 'inviting' path.
4)One example of imagery was "a loud thunderous sound".
5)Alliteration in this poem was "then turns to" in line 9 and "Riveting rivers" in line 14
6)I couldn't find an internal rhyme.
7)One of the personifications was "The wind leads" in line 1.
8)One example of an onomatopeia was "The chirping of the birds' in line 7.
Austen Stire