Running is a fun thing to do;
You can run anytime and anywhere.
You may like running a mile or two,
But I like running more so beware.
When I run watch me zoom by
Sometimes I feel like I can fly!
Running makes me feel free,
It fills my heart with love and glee.
I'm starting up the steep hill
When I saw it I got a chill
I need to make it to the top,
And I'm never ever going to stop
Listen to the pitter patter of my feet
When they hit the ground it's the sound of defeat.
I have to try and keep a pace,
Because I am running in a cross country race.
I like how you made this poem very specific towards your interests and how you made it very personalized. You could widen your vocabulary and have some more variety.
ReplyDelete1) AABB
2) Very positive and fun
3) i like how you used iter patter, it was a nice change
4) When you said running makes me feel free, i pictured you just running all by yourself just to run
5) pitter patter 9th line
6) ground and sound 10th line
7) "running fills my heart with love and glee," 8th line
8) zoom 5th line
MAZIE!
I really enjoyed your vocabualry and persuasive rhyming.
ReplyDeleteTo improve, you could add mor detail and imagery.
1. The rhyme scheme is AABB.
2. The tone of the poem is determined and hardworking.
3. I liked when you said zoom, as well as when you said running makes you feel free. In addition, i liked when you said keep the pace.
4. The poem makes me think of hurting but perservering to run faster.
5. In line 9 "pitter patter".
6. In line 10, "ground and sound".
7. In line 8 , "It fills my heart with love and glee"
8. In line 5, "zoom".
Mady Duarte
i like your rhymes
ReplyDeletei like how you like running
improve imagery
1.AABB
2.you sound happy and like your having fun
3.glee, free, and pace set a good tone
4.makes me think of people running distances
5.pitter patter line 9
6.ground and sound line 10
7.fills heart wioth love and glee line 8
8.pitter patter line 9
Nathan Bolles
Author enjoys running and is determined.
ReplyDeleteIDK
1. AABB
2. joyful
3. free sybolizes different things, defeat when they hit the ground it means your still moving, pace can mean you have to stay with main stream
4. steep hill
5. pitter patter line 9
6. ground and sound line 10
7. heart love and glee line 8
8. pitter patter line 9
River
1. The poem is about running a Cross Country race.
ReplyDelete2. Why is it that when your feet hit the ground, it's the sound of defeat? Line 14.
3. Does this mean you like running up steep hills? Stanza 3.
4. Why do you like to run so much?
Sometimes I feel like I can fly!
Running makes me feel free,
It fills my heart with love and glee.
When they hit the ground it's the sound of defeat.
Steep hill- DIfficulty in life, challenge that you must overcome, keep driving forward.
Bayan Razzaq