Evil is a shadow, casting gloom on the world,
It whispers false rumors and lies,
Then with a swoosh! a decision is hurled,
The people upset, Evil laughing at there cries
Evil is a puppet controlled by a five point star,
Telling truth to a post and lying to others,
Slowly like a snail, they leave a permanent scar
By warring against their brothers
This evil is a fire to some,
For its goal is to destroy a strong peace,
Unwiling to hear all who come,
Its puppet commands all opposed to cease
But at one point, the strings will snap,
And this Evil will see the true Light
Its star losing a cap and opening a wide gap
So a new order of Good may take flight.
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2544323/Evil
I enjoyed how your poem was trying to hint at something bigger than what was actually being said. I also liked the rhythm and tone of your poem it gripped me and I couldn't stop reading. It was over all pretty jello. I think you need to work on your second stanza a little bit, it is somewhat hard to follow, but it does have a certain ring to it. You could also work on adding more to this wonderful work of poetry!
ReplyDelete1) The rhyme scheme of the poem was A, B, A, B, or every other line rhymed.
2) The poet's tone in this poem is very dark and mysterious.
3) Some interesting uses of diction included when you she used puppet, therefore creating a mental image of her poem's subject. Also, how she used Evil has another main word to describe the poem's subject. Last of all, she used Good and Light to describe the other side of her poem's meaning.
4) An example of imagery in her poem was when she said "Slowly like a snail, they leave a permanent scar." I immediately thought about how it would feel to have a snail crawl over me.
5) Alliteration was used by the other to draw my attention to a certain part of her poem. An example of this was in line 2 of the second stanza when she mentioned "telling truth to..."
6) The internal rhyme was also used to grab my attention and it did! It drew my attention to line 3 in stanza 4 where the star was losing its parts and power.
7) Personification was used to paint a picture in my mind. She mentioned evil whispering and spreading lies which paints this image of a dark foggy figure whispering and murmuring.
8) Onomatopoeia was used to also show me the Evil character's actions when she mentioned a decision being swooshed in line 3 of stanza 1.
Moriah Davis
two aspects of the poem i liked was how i connected with it and the good diction.
ReplyDeletetwo suggestions is maybe giving more detial to the effects of evil and how bad it is.
1.ABAB
2.the tone is evil
3.good diction includes gloom, hurled,cease
4.evil is a shadow casting gloom on the world
5. telling truth line 6
6. telling,lying line 6
7. it whispers false rumors and lies line 2
8. swoosh line 3
Hebah Kassar
I really enjoyed the puppet metaphors in this poem and also the theme of evil may destroy but will itself be destroyed in the end. Two suggestions for improvement are: to be careful where you put commas and I really could not find a second area that needs improvement.
ReplyDelete1) The rhyme sceme of this poem was that the last word of every other line rhymed.
2) The poet's tone in this poem is dark and like a warning.
3) One interesting diction was the puppet metaphor, another was Evil and Good and how they were capitalized, and the six-capped star.
4) Imagery was used in "It whispers false rumors and lies".
5) Alliteration was used with the "t" sound in line six.
6) Internal rhyme was used the long "a" sound in "Its star losing a cap or few and opening a wider gap" in line fifteen.
7) Personification was used to make evil alive and controlled by many people in line five.
8) An onomatopeia was "swoosh!" in line three.
Rebekah Shephard (:
1) This poem is about evil itself, some of the affects it has, and is a metaphor pertaining to people who are evil themselves.
ReplyDelete2) One question I have for a paricular line (Evil is a puppet controlled by a five point star) of this poem is were you referring to the satanic star?
3) One question I have for a particular stanza (stanza three) of this poem is evil a real fire? Is the fire used as punishment for "those who oppose" or is it the fire that drives evil?
4) One question I have about the entire poem is what inspired you to write this, and is it just a huge metaphor for something?
Four Examples:
Slowly like a snail
Evil is a puppet controlled by a five point star
Evil is a shadow
This evil is a fire
Symbolic part:
Puppet: Controlled, forced, fake, showy, painted, minion, unreal, lies
Oh, and the above comment was by Rebekah Shephard ^.
ReplyDelete1) The poem is about evilness; the darkness that we know as our world. The darkness is all around us but soon the Light will break through.
ReplyDelete2) One question I have for a particular line of the poem is in line 1 of stanza two what is the five point star that is controling evil puppets?
3) One question I have about a particular stanza of the poem is in stanza 3 isn't the evil "fire" to everyone?
4) One question I have about the entire poem is were you depressed when you wrote this because it is so dark and evil? Oh, and what does this poem really mean?
4 examples of smilies and metaphors: 1) evil is a shadow, 2)evil is a puppet, 3)slowly like a snail, 4)evil is fire
shadow- dark, creepy, walls (shadows on the walls), horror movies and sunshine
Moriah Davis
Rebekah:
ReplyDelete1)I wasn't exactly referring to a satanic star, but more of a group of five people who think they need to control everything and have everyone side with there so called "good" ideas.
2)The fire i mean is somewhat like an internal fire, one that starts within the group of five and begins to spread and cause hatred among other people who are opposed to the group.
3)I got inspired to write this poem from a small segment of my summer that opened my eyes to see how bad this certain group really was and what they wanted and how they made decisions without the public knowing.
Caroline Shamberger
Moriah:
ReplyDelete1)The five point star is a group that believes with the help of this sixth person (the puppet), they can get things done and not receive the blame for it.
2)Yes, the evil is fire to everyone, but this evil slowly spread like wildfire from the evil.
3)I wasn't depressed when i wrote this poem, i was concerned and determined to express my feelings about a pressing issue that came up recently. The dark tone shows that it is a upsetting issue the star is trying to press forward to.
Caroline Shamberger