4 Year-Old Sisters...
I have a 4 year old sister
who is crazy and poor.
She's like a little blister
that gets sore for lack of core.
She's a machine with energy
that never shuts down,
occasionally she runs slowly,
if she's acting like a clown.
She's peaceful when she sleeps,
but that's never long.
You never hear a peep
unless she's singing a song.
She will be a mouse
if there's something she discovered
that existed in our house
when it has been uncovered.
http://www.wordle.net/create
What an interesting use of the word "nver"!!
ReplyDeleteI really liked that you used "founded" to make it sound like your little sister
I really enjoyed you desription of you sister as "peaceful when she sleeps, but that is never long" that is so true of little kids.
Some of the lines dont have the same rythm as the other ones. For example, 1st stanza.
1. AAAABCBCDEDEFGFG
2.ammused?
3.Founded, peep, and mouse
4. Peaceful when she sleeps
5."singing a song' line 12
6. " when is has been founded" last line.
7. Machine with energy? line 5
8. peep. line 11
Hunter Montgomery
this is a fabulous poem! little kids annoy me most of the time.
ReplyDeleteyou might want to spell check this. maybe you should put in more commas and stuff.
1)A B A D, A B C B, A B A B, A B A D
2) the tone is alomst bitter
3) sorer, founded, peep
4) She's a machine with energy
that never shuts down ( second stanza, 2nd and 3rd line)
5)she's singing a song(3rd stanza, last line)
6)maybe it was "ocasionally she runs slowly"
7)Machine with energy(2nd stanza, first line)
8)peep, line 11
Cara Baldwin
I liked how you used your sister as the subject lina and how she is crazy.
ReplyDeleteYou could improve with making the poem flow a little better and you could explain you sister more.
1)There is no rhyme scheme
2)It was playful.
3)Three uses were when you described your sister as a clown and how you said she was only peaceful when she was sleeping.
4)Some imagerey was how you said she was a machine with energy.
5)Stanza three line 4 singing a song.
6)Forgot.
7)Personification was used when she said her sister was a machine in stanza 2 line 1.
8)Onomatopeia was used in stanza 3 line 3 peep.
Alaine Lamberston
1) This poem is about her sister.
ReplyDelete2) One question I have for line 3 of the poem is why is she a blister? What did she ever do to you?
3) One question I have about stanza 1 of the poem is why would you compare her to a blister? That's disgusting!!!
4) One question I have about the entire poem is why did you choose to write about your sister if she is such a pain in the butt?!
1) She's like a little blister.
2) She's a machine with energy.
3) She's acting like a clown.
4) She will be a mouse
Mouse: Disneyland/Disneyworld, petco, the story "Flowers for Algernon", rat, sewer, Mickey Mouse.
1)This poem is about 4 year-old sisters.
ReplyDelete2)One question I have for line 4 of the poem is what is that supposed to mean?
3)One question I have for stanza 4 is how is she like a mouse when she finds something in your house?
4)One question I have about the entire poem is what made you want to write about your little sister?
The 4 examples of similes and/or metaphors were:
-She's like a little blister
-She's a machine with energy
-If she's acting like a clown.
-She will be a mouse
The word "blister" reminds me of an infected sore, festering wound, pain, and suffering.
-Elisabeth