One night, I woke up
From my alarm being so quiet
I ate my breakfast from a cup
And drank from a plate
I walked on the street
On my hands as I would on my feet
Cars drove on the sidewalk
And people beep as cars talk
Passersby looked with their ears
At the normalities all around
Instead of safety there was fear
And happiness was hardly found
I started to smile as it when on for miles
But only for a while
Because it soon turned around
For today a smile is like a frown
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2545204/Opposite_Word_Cloud
Your poem is very original and nice to read. It was interesting and it wasn't boring.
ReplyDeleteThe poem was really good and i really enjoyed it. A suggestion would be more similes or metaphors. Also, maybe you could have the lines rhyme more. This was a very creative poem.
1. abab, ccdd, eeff
2. the tone is positive
3. alarm being quiet- interesting opposite
breakfast- also a good use of opposites
smile- i like how it makes the poem happy
4. cars drove on the sidewalk
5. smile should
6. not used
7. cars talk on line 8
8. beep on line 8
Sydney Pineault
-I really enjoyed reading your poem I havent read somthing like this with everything be the opposite.
ReplyDelete-I think if you would put some more rhyming words in that it would not sound so sad. Also you should put another opposite in the third stanza.
1.a,b,a,c
a,a,b,b
2.i think this is a very creative tone
3. cup/plate-interesting that you drank from plate and otherway around/frown-not every day people are telling you to frown/people beep- i thought this was a very good way of an opposite
4.cars talking and people beeping-i can see like people just walking down the road with a light flashing everytime the say a beep
5. smile should line 12
6. none
7.people beepin ginsted of talking line 8
8. beep line 8
4.
caitlin comment 2
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete1.This poem is about opposites. I think this poem is about how the auther feels what an unordinay day would be like.
ReplyDelete2. For today a smile is like a frown- I understand its about opposite but im wondering if you were unhappy when you were writing it.
3. The first stanza because it is the tone setter of the whole poem and I wondered why you thought to use kitchen supplys.
4. I thought this pome was very well written out, I was wondering how you came up with the idea of writing about opposites.
Caitlin Daniels
Similes and metaphors
ReplyDelete-For today a smile is like a frown
-On my hands as I would on my feet
-I started to smile as it when on for miles
-And people beep as cars talk
smile- colors, kids, laughter, amusement parks, cotten candy, candy, summer
Caitlin Daniels
1) This poem is about being the opposite of normal.
ReplyDelete2) One question I have about a particular line is line 1 of stanza 4. Do you mean that the character was smiling as he walked for miles or his smile went on for miles.
3) One question I have about a particular stanza is the last stanza. Were you trying to say that the world turned back to normal and your smile turned into a frown because you liked living in the opposite way.
4) One question I have about the entire poem is are you saying that if we try different things once and a while that we might see that our world isn't perfect.
The 4 metaphors or similes are:
On my hands as I would on my feet
And people beep as cars talk
For today a smile is like a frown
From my alarm being so quiet
normalities- how something is suppoesed to be, normal, routine
TJ Haws